Showing posts sorted by relevance for query leigh brasington. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query leigh brasington. Sort by date Show all posts

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Disrupting the Chain of Suffering

The Buddha's Wisdom Teachings on Dependent Origination.

I did not want to miss the daylong with Leigh Brasington yesterday at IMC. Leigh is the Senior American Student of Ayya Khema, the late German nun whose teachings have made such a difference in my understanding of the Dharma. The day was a benefit for Ajahn Santikaro, another great teacher and colleague of Lee, currently struggling with cancer.  Leigh spent the day on the Dependent Origination teachings, a core concept at the heart of the Buddha's wisdom teachings, and an elaboration on the Four Noble Truths. Dependent origination is often described as a chain of 12 links, and exists in two forms: 1) Mundane Dependent Origination refers to the chain of causes and effects leading to our common human experience of unsatisfactoriness (dukkha), 2) Transcendental Dependent Origination refers to the chain leading to our liberation from dukkha

Here are my partial notes from the day, with an emphasis on the first form of dependent origination. Mundane Dependent Origination (MDO) goes like this - all illustrations Buddhanet (Outer circle of Dependent Origination in Tibetan Wheel of Life)

old age, sickness, death (dukkha
also unsatisfactoriness from passing phenomena*

depends on
birth (jati
also arising phenomena* 

depends on
becoming (bhava
Pregnant woman
to do with the creation of the notion of self

depends on
clinging (upadana)
Monkey grasping for a fruit

depends on 
craving (tanha)
Person who keeps on drinking

depends on
feeling (vedana)
Eye pierced by an arrow
Feeling from contact between sense organs and object
(either pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral)

depends on 
contact (phassa)
Couple embracing
Meeting of sense organs with object

depends on 
sixfold sense base (sakayatana)
House with six windows
(eyes, ears, nose, tongue, touch, mind)
and a door

depends on 
mentality-materiality (name-rupa)
Mind and Body
Two people in a boat
One is steering
Who is in charge? 

depends on
consciousness (vinnana)
Monkey mind

depends on having an object
concoctions of the mind (sankhara)
Potter setting the wheel in motion

depends on
ignorance (avijja)
Blind woman


Each link is the expression of necessary conditions: with this [phenomenon], that arises, with the ceasing of this [phenomenon], this ceases. Dependent Origination takes place moment to moment, with all twelve links occurring with every sense contact. This is not a linear process. In figuring out Dependent Origination, the Buddha was mostly concerned with what to do about old age and death. In the end, the Buddha was able to overcome being bummed out by old age, sickness, and death (his experience of it, not the thing itself). The practical application of this teaching lies in figuring out the necessary conditions which we have most chance of manipulating.

The usual translation of the Pali word, sankhara does not capture its depth. Better is the translation into concoctions of the mind, meaning that we create the world out of ignorance, through distorted thoughts, emotions, memories. Our view of the world as separate pieces tends to hide the depth and holistic nature of what is really going on.  Because of our limitations, we take the universe and break it into good and bad and pick out one part as most important and that is 'me'. Everything other than nibbana (freedom from dhukkha) is concoctions. We need to pay attention to our interpretations because we often misinterpret things. This can happen if we are alert enough to see, through mindfulness. 

A short term strategy for diminishing dukkha is to look at the critical link between vedana and craving, including our ability to become mindful of pleasant vedana when it occurs and our craving for it. In that gap lots of concoctions and false perceptions take place. We can also guard the sense doors to temper vedana. A longer term strategy to uproot dukkha is the abolition of ignorance.

Leigh's teachings on Dependent Origination and Anatta (not self) came as a great complement to Gil Fronsdal's recent series of talks on Anatta. When thinking about the self, we should not think in terms of an entity that roams. Rather, all that there is is dependently originated. Our mistake is not that we are identifying with the wrong object, but rather that we are identifying with any object at all. One thing arises due to cause and condition, then becomes cause and condition to something else, e.g. I am an English speaker due to certain causes and conditions. There is not identity to be found. No running to the past or the future, or asking 'am I?' or 'am I not?'. We make the mistake of thinking in terms of entities and nouns, when it is in fact all processes that are interrelated. Our small brains cannot take it all in. So we separate things out into convenient bundles, starting with 'me'. We are a mobile sensing device that makes the mistake of thinking of itself as separate from the universe. It is an optical delusion of some sort. In reality we are a part of the universe, that cannot exist without air, air pressure, etc. 'Me' is just a convenient way of referencing that mobile sensing device.

Leigh also addressed the concept of emptiness. We should deal with the craving for becoming by looking at the process of dependent origination, another way to say emptiness. We get caught on the notion of existence. One with right view does not take a stance on 'myself'. The middle way is between the notion of existence and non existence, eternalism and annihilation. It is about looking at the way in terms of dependently originating phenomena. I love this quote from Leigh, quoting his grandmother:

"Where does your lap go when you stand up?" :)

We make the mistake of going through life with the view of "What is inside is me, What is outside is mine." Emptiness is different from non existence. Rather emptiness deals with the non fixed nature of things that are all dependently originated. We realize the non existence of the essential nature of things. And we go back and forth between two views: the relative/conventional/partial view that enables us to function in this world, and the absolute/ultimate/sublime view that puts us in touch the true nature of the world, thus enabling us to be liberated from our ignorance.

Next I want to spend time reading reference materials shared by Leigh:

The Paradox of Becoming - Thanissaro Bhikkhu
Upanisa Sutta - Bikkhu Boddhi
Greater Discourse on the Destruction of Craving
Verses from the Centre - Stephen Batchelor

and I invite you to do the same. You may also listen to most of Leigh's  talk here on AudioDharma.

* added by me, not from Leigh's talk.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Before and After Meditation

Meditation serves as a workout for the mind, the same way exercise is a workout for the body. Lately, I have been paying attention to the 'warm up' and 'cool down' phases before and after sitting practice. How does one prep up the mind before sitting every morning? How does one ease back into the ordinary world after practice? 

Five things to do at the start of a sitting:

  1. Gratitude
  2. Why am I doing this (what's my motivation?)
  3. Work up some determination
  4. Metta - always for yourself, for others as well if you wish
  5. "Breathing in I calm body and mind, breathing out I smile."

Five things to do at the end of a sitting:

  1. Recapitulation - what did I do and how did I get there
  2. Impermanence - all these high, but mundane, states are now gone
  3. Insights - did I get any; what were they
  4. Dedicate the merit from this sitting for the liberation of all beings
  5. Resolve to be mindful as I get up and go about my activities
To which I would like to add another practice:

Before sitting, I read a few lines from the Suttas, from 'In the Buddha's Words', or online at Access to Insight, or from Leigh Brasington's very good list.

How do you prepare for sitting? Do you? How do you transition back afterwards? Do you?

Monday, May 6, 2013

Preventing Burnout With True Compassion

@mihaela_V on Twitter asked 'Any tips re: compassion w/o taking on others' suffering?' That's a great question, and one I can answer based on my limited experience as both a mental health professional, and a practitioner of mindfulness. 

Early on in my career, when I worked as a psychiatric social worker, I remember coming home every day from the hospital feeling drained and with little left to give to myself and my family members. The explanation was simple. I was taking on the suffering of those I was meant to help. And the remedy, as suggested by my supervisor, was clear. I needed to strengthen boundaries between me and the patients. Whenever faced with difficult material, I learned to summon images of door being shut, and fences going up. It helped some, but not really. 

The reason is, I did not know what true compassion was.

Fast forward thirty years, and my experience is so different now . . . Mindfulness has enabled me to   bring compassion first to myself, and second to others in my care. And in the process, I have discovered the joy of serving without feeling burdened by it.

UC Berkeley Center for Greater Good has one of the best definitions of compassion:

Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.

To Leigh Brasington, I owe this clear articulation of what compassion is, and what it is not, and what happens when it is not practiced correctly. Here are my notes from last year retreat with Leigh:

The far enemy of compassion is cruelty. Its near enemy is pity. We risk burnout when we get attached to results, and we insist on relieving the other person's suffering.

Practically, this has meant approaching the other person's suffering like this:

I meet you and I sit with you. I allow myself to feel all of the suffering in this moment, yours and mine. I discern what is yours and what is mine, and what are my reactions to yours and my suffering. And I pay particular attention to any tightness in my mind or body, for it is always a sign unnecessary clinging, which we know is the real troublemaker. What am I wanting that is not possible? What am I pushing away that cannot be done away with? Sitting with her who is sharing her great mental suffering with me, can I let myself feel her anguish, her depression, her hopelessness? Can I stay with the extreme unpleasantness of it all? No need to do anything, other than 'seeing' the whole package, and finding the ebbs and flows of breath in between. Same way I would deal with my own suffering. In the joining and the shared acknowledgment of the suffering lies the possibility of healing. And without the rub from ego-induced clinging, the other's suffering does not stick but leaves instead joy in its trail. Joy from heart open fully, not defended. 

May this be helpful to you whose heart wants to open, and bring relief to the other who is hurting. 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Leigh Brasington on the Body Scan

I just reviewed my notes from Leigh's talk during the retreat about the body scan:
We start at the top of the head. Our job is to just notice the sensations that arise in various parts of the body as they are being scanned. Those include body sensations, and sometimes also emotional sensations that may be buried in the body. In some parts, we may not notice anything. We are mostly staying on the surface, and we go top down, and right left. When switching from one arm to the other, we put the attention out into the room and then back onto the other arm. Same with the legs. This order can be changed to fit one's preference. The sweeping just has to be systematic and cover the whole body.
It is not unusual to get nauseated the first time one does the body scan. It is actually a good sign that toxicity is being released from the body. It may happen once again at the most. 
35 to 45 minutes is optimal.
The body scan is a good practice when feeling agitated or sleepy, or when one is feeling least inclined to practice. Also, if one doesn't like the body scan, it is usually because of a lack of being in touch with the body, and of not picking up sensations.
Body scan, loving kindness, two great practices when the mind is dull, or not settled enough for 'just sitting' . . . One really has no excuses for not doing formal practice. 

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Leigh Brasington, on Vedana

Every teacher, a different perspective on vedana. Here is Leigh's, as shared during the retreat - my notes:
Vedana is best translated as hedonic tone for all our experiences, either pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. It can also be described as initial categorization of sensory input. We only experience one type of vedana at a time. Sometimes it may seems as if both pleasantness and unpleasantness co-exist but that is an illusion due to the rapidly changing nature of vedana. As important as vedana is, the Buddha only gives us one practice for it, and that is to know the tone of the vedana we are experiencing. Vedana falls into two types:
1. Sensual vedana, from external sensory contact - the 5 senses.
2. Non sensual vedana, from mental sense - that is generated by mind.
We often miss the initial vedana from external sensory contact and go straight to perception, then thoughts and emotions (the mental proliferations) that are arising out of perception, and are in turn generating their own vedana, what is called vedana of the mind or downstream vedana. It all goes very quickly. 
It is important to practice with vedana, otherwise vedana will run us by the nose. Our culture is not helping, as it reinforces our natural inclination to pursue pleasure, avoid pain, and assume we will live forever. If we are not careful, we start craving pleasant vedana and the absence of unpleasant vedana. The trick is to not get caught into vedana. There is a gap between initial sensory vedana and craving, i.e. dukkha, and in that gap, mindfulness can intervene. Lots of the vedana we experience is downstream vedana. Our job is to intervene at the external sensory vedana level, rather than waiting for the downstream vedana. It goes like this:
1. External contact from object, sense organ, and sense consciousness coming together.
2. Mental categorization from initial sensory vedana into pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. 
3. Perception, i.e. identification of what kind of contact, giving it a name.
4. Thoughts and emotions, lead to mental vedana.
We have control over perception, thoughts and emotions, and downstream vedana.
Vedana, it's so important! Whenever unpleasantness makes itself felt, I have learned to see it for what it is. A transient state, some of which I have control over, and the rest not at all. Same with pleasantness. And in each case, the potential for more unpleasantness, either from rejecting (the unpleasantness), or clinging (to the pleasantness).

Other teachers' perspective on vedana:

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Finding Inner Joy

(This and the following posts for the next two weeks will be pre-scheduled blogs to keep some kind of life, here on Mind Deep, while I am away and retreating with Leigh Brasington at Cloud Mountain. Two weeks of noble silence, practice insight and concentration. A gift in the midst of what is a very busy work phase . . .

In honor of Ayya Khema, Leigh's primary teacher, I will feature some of  my  favorite videos of her.)

Sunday, August 19, 2012

A Very Nice Show

(This and the following posts for the next two weeks will be pre-scheduled blogs to keep some kind of life, here on Mind Deep, while I am away and retreating with Leigh Brasington at Cloud Mountain. Two weeks of noble silence, practice insight and concentration. A gift in the midst of what is a very busy work phase . . .

In honor of Ayya Khema, Leigh's primary teacher, I will feature some of  my  favorite videos of her.)

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Loving the Meditation

(This and the following posts for the next two weeks will be pre-scheduled blogs to keep some kind of life, here on Mind Deep, while I am away and retreating with Leigh Brasington at Cloud Mountain. Two weeks of noble silence, practice insight and concentration. A gift in the midst of what is a very busy work phase . . .

In honor of Ayya Khema, Leigh's primary teacher, I will feature some of  my  favorite videos of her.)

Monday, August 13, 2012

All Heart And Mind


(This and the following posts for the next two weeks will be pre-scheduled blogs to keep some kind of life, here on Mind Deep, while I am away and retreating with Leigh Brasington at Cloud Mountain. Two weeks of noble silence, practice insight and concentration. A gift in the midst of what is a very busy work phase . . .

In honor of Ayya Khema, Leigh's primary teacher, I will feature some of  my  favorite videos of her.)

Friday, August 10, 2012

Off to Cloud Mountain

(This and the following posts for the next two weeks will be pre-scheduled blogs to keep some kind of life, here on Mind Deep, while I am away and retreating with Leigh Brasington at Cloud Mountain. Two weeks of noble silence, practice insight and concentration. A gift in the midst of what is a very busy work phase . . .

In honor of Ayya Khema, Leigh's primary teacher, I will feature some of  my  favorite videos of her.)

Friday, March 30, 2012

7 Fountains of Mindfulness

Periodically, I reflect on the teachers who inspire me most. Here is my current list - with links to their teachings in case you are interested:

Ayya Khema
I read her books, I search her writings on the Web, I watch her videos, I listen to her Dharma talks, and I plan to go on a retreat this summer with her student, Leigh Brasington. It is one of my great regrets that she is no longer alive to dispense face to face teachings. I quote from her extensively in Mind Deep. Leigh has the most comprehensive Web page on her work

Ajahn Chah
Often, I visit the old sage's website, and read his teachings at random. And each time, a new pearl of wisdom reveals itself. Ajahn Chah is the one teacher who validated the importance of 'the knot', and confirmed what I already knew intuitively. 

Ajahn Sumedho
This now elder monk was a student of Ajahn Chah. I have recently delighted in his reflections on the nature of awareness. Just like Ajahn Chah, his teachings are direct, simple, and infused with deep wisdom. He used to be the abbott at Amavarati monastery in England, and has now retired to a monastery in Thailand. 

U Tejaniya
I call him the 'attitude' monk. U Tejaniya's most noteworthy contribution centers around the importance of bringing the right attitude to practice. He is also more relaxed than most monks. U Tejaniya's teachings are freely available on his website. His Tricycle interview, The Wise Investigator, contains some very inspirational passages on how to use practice to successfully deal with depression.  I am planning to attend a retreat with him next year.

Ruth Denison
Ruth is a formidable teacher, a very wise old woman whose way of living is as powerful a teaching as the words that she speaks. Retreating with her in the desert two years ago turned out to be such a blessing. And I am glad I kept a record, both with words and videos. Ruth never wrote a book - other than Sandy Boucher's biography, but that does not really count . . . , never made a movie, and recordings of her Dharma talks are scant. She has little interest in leaving a legacy. She just wants to keep on giving, in the present moment . . . 

Gil Fronsdal
The Insight Meditation Center, Gil's community, is only 10 minutes from my house. Gil is my 'backyard' teacher. I always learn something from attending Gil's talks, all of which are available on AudioDharma. Gil has the gift of making sometimes obscure teachings into easily accessible dharma material. 

And of course, the teacher of all teachers, the Buddha himself. For an online source to the sutras, I go to Access to Insight. For good old fashioned paper books, I rely on In the Buddha's Words, and also The Middle Length Discourses of the Buddha.

With much gratitude.

Monday, January 21, 2013

The Pain of Conditional Love

There is a reason Leigh Brasington teaches loving kindness as a preparation practice for the jhanas. Unless the heart is fully opened, and unhindered, the mind cannot fully settle. And a disturbed mind bars one from the possibility of inner peace and freedom. 

Loving kindness is a benchmarking practice for the heart. It shows us how many obstacles the mind sets to love flowing out freely. It also bumps against automatic responses from a body most often used to closing up.

Sitting, practicing loving kindness, I  get to see all the idiotic reasons perpetuated by the mind, for why I should not love such and such person. 

"I hardly know him. Love is for close loved ones, ins't it?" Mind operates under the delusion that love is a limited resource, to be allocated parsimoniously only under certain conditions.

"He has hurt me.  I cannot trust him. I don't feel like loving him." Mind makes gigantic leaps, from needing to be cautious, to slamming the heart door . . . Not realizing that each slam is a source of stress for the whole system. I am not hurting him who has no idea of the movie playing in my heart. I am hurting myself.

"She does not seem to care. Why should I love her?" Mind keeps on dispensing evaluations. Lovable? Yes, a little, or maybe a lot, or not at all? 

Turning towards the heart, I get to see all the conditions set up in the mind only, and that keep me from finding the joy within. 

Monday, September 24, 2012

The Beginning and the End of Meditation

How one starts and ends each sitting are almost as important as the meditation itself.

From Leigh Brasington, instructions we practiced during the retreat:

5 things to do at the beginning:

  1. Gratitude to teachers, life circumstances . . . 
  2. Motivation - Why am I doing this?
  3. Determination - to use time wisely
  4. Metta, first for one self
  5. Breathing - in and out

5 things to do at the end:
  1. Recapitulation - review what contributed to quality of sitting
  2. Impermanence - reflect 
  3. Insight - what did I learn that is personal and also impersonal
  4. Dedication of merit
  5. Remember to be mindful and continue momentum throughout the day
I have developed my own, simplified version. Starting always with gratitude for the practice, then determining to set aside ordinary habits of mind, then metta, and then breathing. Then ending with reviewing highlights of the sitting, and determining to stay mindful. 

How about you?

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Keeping The Insight Fresh

From Leigh Brasington, a comment made during the retreat:
When insight arises, that seems too precious to be lost, write it down, or better yet, write about it. Also, continue to reflect upon it. And last, share it with noble friends.
This is why I blog and tweet about my practice. And why I am so grateful for the conversations that take place here, on Mind Deep.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

A Million Reasons To Not Go On Retreat

A year ago exactly, I was getting ready for a one week retreat with Jon Kabat-Zinn. I came home so jazzed up, I promised myself it would not be long before I would go again. Ruth Denison's Spring Retreat was only a few months away, and I called to save a spot. Then came a new work assignment that was simply too good to ignore, and the retreat with Ruth had to go. Same thing happened in the Fall with Gil Fronsdal's retreat. All my good intentions vanished with yet more work that could not wait. That's it, I swore, no more letting other worldly concerns get in the way. 

Next opportunity was the end-of-year retreat with Ruth. I had planned to go after our family Christmas. As time came near, a string of emails from Ruth's sangha sisters made it clear that the conditions for the retreat would not be optimal. Plus, I had not gone away with my husband for more than a year, and we were overdue for a trip, just the two of us. Off, I went with him to Hawaii. 

A whole year has passed, without any retreat. A few weeks ago, I took the bold step of signing up for a 13-day retreat with Leigh Brasington at Cloud Mountain. To solidify my commitment, I even paid the whole nine hundred some dollars. This time, there is no way, I am going to cancel! 

It is good that I am so determined. My resolution has already been tested twice. My husband is making some noise and wondering, why do you need to go on such a long retreat, and in Oregon? The kids will be all home at that time . . . Then there is the new work opportunity that just came up, that would require me to miss the first day of the retreat.  Such an exciting project!

The point is, there will never be a good time for a retreat. And yet, I also know the opportunity to dedicate an extended period of time to intensive mindfulness practice is one of life's most precious gifts, not just to oneself, but also the world around us.

How do you make the time for retreats? What are some of the challenges? Please share.


Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Not This Time

Walking this morning, I found much unpleasantness. The mind had its reasons, ready to be indulged. This path often travelled, I did not feel like taking, however. Not this time.

Dharma talks are not for nothing . . . 

I remembered the essence of this teaching, from Leigh Brasington:
A short term strategy for diminishing dukkha is to look at the critical link between vedana and craving, including our ability to become mindful of pleasant vedana when it occurs and our craving for it. In that gap lots of concoctions and false perceptions take place.
Yes, the gap. There was a gap, if only I could stop the mind in its tracks. And even if I couldn't, I could at a minimum watch it skip from 'unpleasant', to 'not liking', 'really not liking'. Body meanwhile constricting, throat tightening, stomach knotting. All in a matter of seconds. 

Years of evolution at work. It's going to take a while for the body to unlearn, and the mind to understand. 

Helpful, Blanche Hartman's image of "Not taking that train (of thoughts)". That I could do, over and over again. 
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